...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
