when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
