Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
