AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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