you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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