She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
