I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Couch. On fire.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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