good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
