do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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