i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
