..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
