Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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