he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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