she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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