I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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