There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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