She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
