Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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