I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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