i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
