So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
