How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
