Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
