Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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