I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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