I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
