Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
