brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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