saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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