keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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