My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
