you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
