my room smells like sperm. sweet.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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