What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
