I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
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So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I will pee on everything he values.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
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You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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