Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
