Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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