Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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