I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
