so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
pray to the hookup gods
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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