I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
