no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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