I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
