Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she smelled like a LAN party
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
