I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
