why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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