i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he shaved USA in his pubs
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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