Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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