I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
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sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
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Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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