hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
