do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
