great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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