Only a mothe r could love this liver
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
