can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
