but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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